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I am a homosexual!

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I am a homosexual!
1317 زائر
03/05/2008
Amr Khaled

Assalamu ‘Alykum wa Rahmatu Allah wa Barakatuh

Dear Amr Khaled,

At the beginning, I would like to introduce myself to you. I am a 27-year-old male and I graduated three years ago. I used to be a good person; I have started to pray before the age of 10 and I used to attend Qur’an lessons.

I have faith in God, I am kind and polite. However, I have a serious problem that I would like to talk to you about.

My problem is very complicated and I have been trying to solve it for a long time, but I have failed.

It is a problem that I can’t tell to my parents or my friends because they won’t understand it.

I hope that you understand me because I badly need someone to help me find a way out and to help others who may have the same problem and don’t dare to talk about it.

My problem is that I am a homosexual!

I’m always attracted to guys even those who didn’t reach puberty.
My childhood was a normal one; therefore, I cannot attribute my abnormal feelings to any problems that I faced as a child.

After finishing high school, I got to know that there are other people who have the same feelings. Unfortunately, I got acquainted with other homosexuals and I had sex with them.

I always feel guilty after committing such a sin, and that’s why I practiced it only a limited number of times.

I tried to draw my attention away from this feeling using several means, but, unfortunatelly, I failed. I really can’t live this way, disobeying Allah’s orders, but I don’t know what to do. Please try to help me!

I have no feelings whatsoever towards women. I hate being myself! I wish to be a heterosexual, get married, have children, and be in good relation with Allah but I don’t know how!

Many people have the same problem, but they are not brave enough to admit it. Please try to help those people.
I don’t know how but there must be a way!

Please tell me what to do when I feel weak. I want to get rid of this feeling. I don’t want to commit those sins anymore.

I don’t know whether you can discuss this issue in public so as to help other people who have my problem.

I will be waiting for your reply.

Thank you


رد استاذ عمرو.



In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. All praise and thanks are due to Allah and peace and blessings be upon His messenger.

Dear brother,

Jazak Allah khayran for your email and for the confidence you place in me. I endore Almighty Allah to enable me be of real help to you.

I'm really sorry, brother, for my late reply. I'm very busy these days preparing for Life Makers and studying for my PhD. I hope that all my brothers and sisters be understanding.

Brother,
I am deeply sad to know that our Muslim youth are facing such a problem. However, I'm happy because you have realized that you are facing a real problem, and this will be the first step on the way of recovery inshaAllah.

First of all, you MUST stop exercising the sexual practices you mentioned in your message IMMEDIATELY becasue you are committing a GRAVE sin. Repent to Allah and ask for His forgiveness with the intention of not committing the same sin again.

Brother, repent to Allah and ask for His forgiveness, and He'll forgive you inshaAllah.

Allah(swt) says in the Noble Qur'an:
Say: O my servants! who have acted extravagantly against their own souls, do not despair of the mercy of Allah; surely Allah forgives the faults altogether; surely He is the Forgiving the Merciful" (Al-Zumar, 53).
قل يا عبادي الذين أسرفوا على أنفسهم لا تقنطوا من رحمة الله إن الله يغفر الذنوب جميعاً إنه هو الغفور الرحيم

Also, in surat Al-Hijr, Allah(swt) says: "He said: And who despairs of the mercy of his Lord but the erring ones?" (56).
قال و من يقنط من رحمة ربه إلا الضالون

Al-Imam al-Shaf'i wrote a very touching poem from which I will tell two verses only:

فلما قسا قلبي وضاقت مذاهبي
جعلت رجائي نحو عفوك سلما
تعاظمني ذنبي فلما قرنته
بعفوك ربي كان عفوك أعظما

Brother,

Make your sin your way to paradise; the feeling of guilt you feel now might change your whole life and make you a totally different person. It might make you closer to Allah through repentence. It might make you spend your whole life asking for Allah's mercy and forgiveness, leading you to paradise inshaAllah.

Allah(swt) says in al-Hadith al-Qudsy:
أهل ذكري أهل مودتي ، أهل شكري أهل زيادتي ، أهل معصيتي لا أقنطهم من رحمتي ، إن تابوا فأنا حبيبهم ، وإن لم يتوبوا فأنا طبيبهم أبتليهم بالمصائب لأطهرهم من الذنوب والمعايب

I want to remind you of another touching Hadith Qudsy:
أَنَا عِنْدَ ظَنِّ عَبْدِي بِي، وَأَنَا مَعَهُ حَيْثُ يَذْكُرُنِي، واللهِ لَلَّهُ أَفْرَحُ بِتَوْبَةِ عَبْدِهِ مِنْ أَحَدِكُمْ يَجِدُ ضَالَّتَهُ بِالْفَلاَةِ، وَمَنْ تَقَرَّبَ إِلَيَّ شِبْراً، تَقَرَّبْتُ إِلَيْهِ ذِرَاعاً، وَمَنْ تَقَرَّبَ إِلَيَّ ذِرَاعاً، تَقَرَّبْتُ إِلَيْهِ بَاعاً، وَإِذَا أَقْبَلَ إِلَيَّ يَمْشِي، أَقْبَلْتُ إِلَيْهِ أُهَرْوِلُ

Brother,
كل ابن آدم خطاء وخير الخطائين التوابين

You should know that Allah forgives all sins except polythesim (al sherk).
You can gain Allah's forgiveness only through repentence (tawba), and repentence has three conditions; you should:

1. Stop committing the sin.
2. Regret what you have done.
3. Take a frim decision not to do it again.

Also, Prophet Muhammad(pbuh) says: "Regret is repentence" (الندم توبة)

Second, brother, I would like to highlight to you Islam's stand on homosexuality. According to Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada,:

"...homosexuality is considered one of the most abominable sins in Islam; it is so enormous in intensity and gravity that Allah tells us in the Qur’an that because of it, an entire nation was destroyed by Allah in a most horrible way. We must know that the stories narrated in the Qur’an are not meant for chanting or entertainment; rather they are meant to teach us valuable lessons for our benefit. Allah says: “Truly in their stories is a lesson for people of understanding, for this (Book) is not a forged tale, but is a confirmation of the revelations of that preceded it, a detailed explanation of all things, a guidance and a mercy to people who believe.” (Yusuf: 111)


Allah(swt) says in the Noble Qur'an: "And Lot who said to his people: 'Do you do what is indecent though you see its iniquity? Would you really approach men in your lusts rather than women? You are a people grossly ignorant.' His people gave no answer but this: 'Drive out the followers of Lot from our city. They are indeed men who want to be clean and pure.' But we saved him and his family except his wife: We destined her to be of those who lagged behind. And We raked down on them a shower: and evil was the shower on those who were admonished." (An-Naml: 54-58)

Brother in Islam,
The first step in the way of solving your problem lies in understanding then dealing with the motives behind your abnormal behavior.


However,frankly,I believe that it is difficult for you to deal with such a problem by yourself. I think that you should resort to a psychiatrist; try to go to a Muslim trustworthy one.

Brother,
Don't lose hope. Many homosexuals have been able to live their lives normally after being treated properly. And don't forget to seek refuge in Allah. Pray to Allah and ask Him to help you and he will inshaAllah. Do'aa is extremely important

An essential part of any successful treatment is the strong will power and determination of the patient. You should be persistant and patient at the same time. This can be compared to redirecting a water coarse; it's difficult but possible.

During treatment, I advise you not to look at any scene that might arouse your sexual desires. You should also try to have religious friends and try to keep your time occupied with prayers, Zikr and reading Quran.

Sheikh Kutty mentioned some tips that can help you in your struggle inshaAllah:

1. Convince yourself that the pleasure that he derives from such an abominable behavior is in reality nothing but pain and suffering in the long term. So instead of associating this behavior with pleasure, let yourself learn to associate and link it with pain; so every time you are tempted to do it, let yourself picture the pain and suffering of hell fire. By repeatedly going through this exercise, you will eventually come to abhor and shun this behavior altogether.


2. Reflect and meditate on the verses of the Qur’an that deal with the punishment meted to the nation who practiced this abomination.


3. Ask yourself whether you wish to belong to the group of the wicked sinners condemned by Allah or join the company of the prophets, saintly ones, the martyrs and the righteous who are blessed by Allah. The choice is yours and yours alone.


4. Cut off all relations with people who lead such a life-style; erase your past and form friendships with those who are righteous and engaged in good works and thus occupy yourself in such works with them.


5. Meditate on the ephemeral and transient nature of this world. The pleasures of this world are fleeting while the pleasure and pain of Hereafter are ever lasting.


6. Make dhikr and du`a’ your constant companion. By seeking Allah’s help to fight this behavior, you can surely overcome and break free of this abomination. Allah has promised to come to the help of those who strive in His way: “As for those who strive for Our sake, We will guide them unto Our ways; verily, Allah is with those who behave with excellence.” (Al-`Ankabut: 69)


7. Last but not least, once you have repented and changed yourself into a better person, you should get married and seek a lawful Islamic relationship, which will be approved by Allah as well as rewarded by Him. May Allah help us all to hate disbelief and sins in all forms, and may He make dear to our hearts faith and righteous actions. Ameen."

PLEASE KEEP ME UPDATED WITH YOUR NEWS. I will be WAITING for your emails inshaAllah.

May Allah guide you to the right path.

Amr Khaled

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« إضافة تعليق »
02-08-2014 12:04

thonks

Thank you brother for sharing this with as many of as are facing this big problem which destroy you from inside kill you slowly thank you mister Amr Khaled ( wellahi ahebek fi sabeel ALLAH ) you always give me hope while watching you videos on youtube .however, I have question regarding al twaba :
I am making al tawba prying God every time to kill this horrible desire inside my heart wanted to ask you if someone made tawba true one ,God will not punish him he will be l
02-08-2014 12:02

thonks

Thank you brother for sharing this with as many of as are facing this big problem which destroy you from inside kill you slowly thank you mister Amr Khaled ( wellahi ahebek fi sabeel ALLAH ) you always give me hope while watching you videos on youtube .however, I have question regarding al twaba :
I am making al tawba prying God every time to kill this horrible desire inside my heart wanted to ask you if someone made tawba true one ,God will not punish him he will be l
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